5 Realities of Being a Parennial

5 Realities of Being a Parennial In 2017 millennials (those born between 1981and 1997) made up 90 percent of all new parents. Thats largely because, in 2015,more than a mio millennial women gave birth for the firth time, according to data from the National Center for Health Statistics. The totalnumber of U.S. millennial women who have become motherbeis has officially risen tomore than 16 million, which means that they made up about eight in 10 U.S. births in 2015.While its true that theseso-called parennialshadwaited longer to have kids, they stillhadmade it a priority in their lives. In fact, more women are starting families compared to 10 years ago, buttheyre waiting longer to have babies, according to a new analysis of U.S. Census Data from the Pew Research Center andHealthlines State of Fertility Report 2017, because ofcareer security and financial reasons. But millennial women haverated being agood parent as a top priority in a 2010 Pew Research Center survey. Some 52 percent sa id that it was actually one of the most important goals in their lives, surpassing having a successful marriage, and 60 percent said thatbeing a parent is extremely important to their overall identity, according to a2015 Pew Research Center survey.Theresearch also shows that theyre confident in their abilities to care for children even more so than previous generations and they have more fun with it and find it more rewarding than older generations, as well.So what is it like to be a parennial? We asked a few.1. Being a parennial means beinga role model.For me, and Im sure for others in my generation, we remember what childhood was like before the internet and before it was modell to have high-def video games vying for our attention, says 28-year-old Ben Woods, owner and founder ofWeathered Coalition, a mens boutique in Austin, Texas. I know what it was like to play outside every day and to watch the sunset, and to feel that bittersweet feeling that playtime was over and I had to go inside. Thats what I want to offer my son. So were being very intentional about how much we use screens in our home, elend because technology is evil, but because we want to set an example for him. We want him to binnensee that were not entertainment addicts, and he doesnt have to be either. And we take him outside every day.2. Being a parennial means having to be more discerning.My kids are part of Generation Uber, and they expect that if we need something, we can just order it up says Erin Goodnow, co-found and CEO ofGoing Ivy, a college admissions consulting group. Believe me, that was invaluable when we were going through a box of diapers a week. Then my daughter asks for gloves last August because her friend has gloves and I say maybe in a while, and she asks why I dont just text it to my phone. So as a parent, there are benefits and drawbacks to the conveniences we millennials couldnt live without.Parents of previous generations really couldnt fulfill every wish their child ren had, and maybe I could (if money grew on trees) because I have access to everything at my fingertips. But I choose not to fulfill every wish they have. It is a judgment call sometimes. They are learning the virtue of patience in a different way, and while they will also grow up with more conveniences available to them, it will be my job to teach them what is worth working harder for. As a millennial parent, experiences are worth more to me, and I want to expose my children to those experiences that will bring their lives value.My daughter and I do mommy-daughter days, and my favorite one was a stroll around the mall where we discovered a crpe shop. We shared a strawberry crpe with whipped cream and powdered sugar on top and talked about the time Daddy and I went to Paris and how she might go someday, where shed like to travel to, why she likes her friends, her favorite things about her school and more. I wouldnt give up quality time for more money, and I will use money in this case something like $8 to buy more experiences like that.3.Being a parennial means being self aware.I dont know anyone elses reality, but I make an attempt to know mine my parenting styles are primarily a synthesis of learning from my parents mistakes and welcoming some ancient/modern ideas and techniques put forth by Dr. Harvey Karp in his Happiest _____ on the Block books, saysCaleb Backe, a health and wellness expert for Maple Holistics. My wife and I knew we wanted to present our kids with as much freedom as possible, without being outright negligeant or quasi-negligeant. We knew we wanted to provide them with unstructured free play time, ideally outside, on a regular basis. We knew we wanted to pretend there was a tooth fairy, but not lie to them about things that matter. Parenting is a process of trial and error, and you learn things as you go along, regardless of how many books youve read, movies youve watched and advice youve gotten.For me, this means understanding, intern alizing and constantly reminding myself that it is my kids job to push the very limits I try so hard to set, and to smash the rules I attempt to enforce. We both test and educateone another all the time, but proper parenting helps it remain a test, a trial, a right step in the ongoing evolution without it escalating into a battle. Youre both going to lose that confrontation.Happy parents to happy kids? Is such a thing possible? Yes, but the key is not to expect it all the time. It is not a goal, it is a perk. It is a means to an end, not an end unto itself. If happiness happens to land on your doorstep today, great Embrace it, enjoy it, saturate yourself in it, lose yourself to its positivity, and acknowledge its fleeting nature when it up and disappears.Self-aware parents, who understand they will make mistakes no matter what, are less prone to self-flagellation and also less prone to acting in a vengeful way towards their kids. Know your power, know your weapons, and do what you can to keep them sheathed.4.Being a parennial means having to ignore the tech on which so many millennials rely.As the mother of a two-year-oldworking full-time in digital absatzwirtschaft and PR, its vital to make my career and parenthood work together because both are 24/7, saysLisa Deliberato, 27. Prioritizing quality time during the week with my daughter is key, so I try to keep my phone and laptop use to a minimum from the time I pick her up from daycare until she goes to bed. Finding an employer who is supportive of work-life balance is key.Having a kid has made us both more present. The glorious teeny-tiny baby phase is fleeting first steps can be missed if youre checking your emails, and some of the things that come out of their mouths are comedic gold... So pay attention ( write it down).When it comes to advice, its tough not to get caught up in scary news stories, the latest nutrition trends or sucked into the feeds of enviable mommy bloggers, but weve learned (in our tin y two years as parents) that if you do what feels right for you and your child, things generally work out OK.5.Being a parennial means having totake everything with a grain of salt.Raising children in this day and age is hard, saysBritnie Sims, a contributing writer forwords from a recent post with us. It seems like us old millennial moms just cant win. Were bombarded with conflicting information, and our parenting choices are scrutinized. One-second judgmental snapshots are posted about our lives everywhere, which makes raising children in this day and age a little murky and complicated. Raising babies and mom-ing children with the world of information and opinions at our fingertips is risky business. Read through a baby book, chat with your girlfriends, or scroll through a forum about any given topic and you will end up more confused on the subject than when you started.--AnnaMarie Houlis is a multimedia journalist and an adventure aficionado with a keen cultural curiosity and an affinity for solotravel. Shes an editor by day and a travel blogger at HerReport.org by night.